Last night I tossed and turned because my brain would not shut off. Sometimes it's a good thing because occasionally really neat thoughts come to me while I lay in the dark, the whole world quiet. Last night I revamped the description of my new book CASANOVA COWBOY, for the better I think, but my biggest thoughts were about my kids. They are eighteen and nineteen and they too have had to endure this whole backward slide. They've had to watch their parents lose jobs, homes, move furniture, turn keys over, change our lifestyle, go through savings. Growing up my kids never wanted for much because those were the good years, now just as they are posed to get out on their own they have seen it all disappear.
I had my yearly physical yesterday and my doctor asked how I was holding up, she knows our circumstances. Well I said I guess as good as can be expected considering we're going on four years of this and Dennis has very little work. She shook her head and said "you and Dennis are two of the strongest people I've ever met, this breaks a lot of people you know?" How I know, I've been on that brink and had to pull myself back a time or two. "As crazy as this sounds," she said "it will make your kids stronger." I thought about that all day. It not only will, it already has.
Kids, call mine young adults, many times don't understand change like this. I've seen kids get angry about what they feel they should be entitled to. Mine have gone the other way, they tread lightly, encourage, try very hard to not ask for anything but the basics, tell me they don't need much when I try and buy them clothes, but the biggest thing they both do is remind us everyday that they love us and that they think we are awesome parents. What this continues to remind us is that stuff is just stuff.